Scambaiter 9

No dice at the Western Union... hope this does not upset Tom.

Scambaiter 10

This is getting hilarious... apparently Tom is becoming more and more religious and less and less concerned with the English language.

Scambaiter 11

I feel my time with Tom is coming to an end. It is time for me to step up the trash talking and finish this one out on a high note. Below is our morning exchange...

Scambaiter 12

I believe today is the day that I will end things with our friend Tom and get back to the normal Beasthammer postings. Here are some of the latest emails, the first is from me basically requesting that Tom send me a picture of himself preferably holding a sign with the words "Beast Hammer" written on it. Although I did not get what I was asking for he did send me a cute little I.D. card.

Scambaiter 13

I don't know if Tom will write me back after this one but I just couldn't resist making my own ID Card...

And here is the picture of the ID I attached. Who knew Tom and Danny had so much in common.

Scambaiter 14

Since Tom has not responded yet to my ID Card email I took the liberty of contacting the attorney to let him know that I have just sent his money.

Scambaiter 15

The attorney has now written me back telling me that he sent his secretary to pick up the money from Western Union and to his surprise the money never came through. How could that have happened? I wrote him back saying that I suspected the secretary was a theif...

Scambaiter, Season Finale

 If you are reading this for the first time I would suggest going to the beginning of the Scambaiter series and starting there.  It'll be worth your time...  This is it. I have sent my final email to the scammer.  It is kind of sad in a way because below you will see where the attorney sent me a picture of himself which reminded me that this could have gone on a lot longer. Enjoy my final reply.






MY FINAL REPLY:

Tom's final reply?:

My final request:

Swift Justice

My friend Bert showed me this post on Facebook that was made by a guy we grew up with... awesome

3-4 Day Shipping part 4

Katie from Boxwave has responded to my request for both a refund and a reshipment of my order. Unfortunately though, she couldn't meet my demands:

Katie @ Boxwave:

Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for your reply and kind words.

Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate your request for complimentary reshipment as well as a refund. As such, a full refund in the amount of $29.50 will be processed. Please allow 3-5 business days for this information to become available for review.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns!

Best Regards,

Katie
BoxWave Customer Service
http://www.boxwave.com

Beasthammer:

Dear K-Dog, 

Am I reading your email correctly?  Can you confirm whether you are or aren't sending me a complimentary Alligator Skin iPad cover for my troubles?

Warmly, 

XXXXX

Katie @ Boxwave:

Dear XXXXX,

We aren't.

Best Regards,

Katie
BoxWave Customer Service
http://www.boxwave.com

Beasthammer:

 Dear Katherine,

: (

3-4 Day Shipping part 3

Finally, we are starting to make some progress on this whole debacle.  Boxwave finally emailed me back about the status of my missing package (which included an iPad cover and a stylus) and offered a few suggestions for "making it right."  I've attached their email below followed by my response...

Dear xxxxx,

Thank you for your email!

Unfortunately, we are unable to cancel your order as it has already been shipped.

I am sorry to hear that you have not received your order. I have confirmed with our Fulfillment Department that the package was shipped out via UPS on Friday, October 21, 2011 to the following address:

xxxxx
xxx xxxxxxxx xx
xxxxxxxx, NC xxxxx
US

As the UPS tracking information has not been updated, I have followed up with UPS and they have opened a tracer on the lost package.

May I ask if you are still interested in receiving these products? I would be happy to process a reshipment order with a signature requirement. However, I would also be happy to put through a refund for this order if you would prefer.

I look forward to your reply so I can further assist you!

Best Regards,

Katie
BoxWave Customer Service
http://www.boxwave.com

 My Response:

My Dear Katie, 

What's up G?! Thanks for writing me back and  thanks for doing it with such enthusiasm!  I know you did not particularly ask for this assignment and for that I must apologize. However, now is a big opportunity for you to step up and make a difference not only in my life but the millions and millions of people affected by this situation.  I know, it's a lot to take in... I'll give you a second to take a deep breath and let the gravity of the situation set in....

Good. Now that we are both on the same page it is time to discuss this issue of whether I ask for a refund or for a reshipment of my order.  You can understand the position this puts me in.  Part of me would like to receive a refund and spend my money elsewhere but there is still a desire for me to actually have the products I ordered.  This reminds me of a childhood memory where I was faced with a very similar situation.  You see Katie, when I was the ripe old age of 6 maybe 7, I was quite the backyard Wiffle Ball star of my neighborhood.  I believe on this particular day it was Game 5 of our neighborhood World Series and I was glad to be in my backyard and have home field advantage.  It was just before the 7th inning stretch and things were really starting to heat up, not only on the field but also in my Incredible Hulk underwear.  What I didn't tell you was that I had a terrible addiction to chocolate milk back then and nothing got my poop reactor working overtime like drinking a tall glass of the hard stuff and then hustling around the bases in the warm August sun.  

I remember it clearly.  I was on deck with one out and it was at this time that I had to make a critical decision.  I could either A, run over to the hedges by the back door, pop a squat and make it back just in time to hit the go ahead double into the gap OR I could go with option B and try to hold back the flood gates until the next inning but I would risk destroying my underwear and self esteem on a hard slide into 2nd base... After carefully weighing the pros and cons I went with option A.  To this day I think I made the right call but what I failed to realize at the time was that my father had been standing in the kitchen window and witnessed the entire horrifying deuce dropping.  He was not pleased.  He laid into me so bad with his belt that not only was I unable to finish out the wiffle ball game but I was forever cursed with a fear of belts which now explains my elastic dress pants.  

I guess what I'm trying to say Katie is that I'm afraid to make the wrong decision here.  I think the best thing to do in this case would be for me to go with option A and B.  I would like you to go ahead a process a reshipment of my order but I would also like a refund.  And... if you would be a little lamb and throw in one of those alligator skin covers for my iPad I would be forever grateful.  I'm glad we were able to work this out Katie, you're not only a good person.... you are now my friend.  

Respectfully, 

xxxxxx xxxxxx    

3-4 Day Shipping part 2

These jerk bags still haven't responded to me...

3-4 Day Shipping

The Making of Kenny

Enjoy...

Behind the Scenes Look

I thought you folks would be interested to see a behind the scenes look at how these Microsoft Paint "masterpieces" are created.  They require lots of man hours and lots of actual work avoidance.  Enjoy.

A True Sausage Party

Sorry for my absence lately but I have been very busy working on my latest installment of the Kenny the Cab Driver series.  If you haven't had a chance to read the first two yet I recommend scrolling down and catching up on those first before continuing.

Apparently Kenny the Cab Driver is a pretty popular guy around these parts and awkward stories about him keep popping up now that he has been exposed here on Beasthammer.  The other day I was hanging out at my friend Burt's house with him and his cousin Vance (except for Kenny, real names have been omitted to protect the innocent) and Burt and I starting talking about the whole D-Money incident.  It's about this time that Vance over hears our conversation and chimes in, "Oh y'all talking about Kenny? The gay cab driver?" Once his assumption is confirmed he begins painfully reciting a Kenny story of his own.

Twas the night before Christmas... no seriously though, it was actually Christmas Eve a couple of years ago and Vance and his buddies were drinking heavily over at one of their houses.  Later that night the unthinkable happens and they run out of beer.  Being responsible young men they decide not to drive for a beer run and start brainstorming some alternatives.  One of the guys whips out a business card for "Kenny the Cab Driver" and having had a ride home from Kenny in the past this guy knew how EAGER Kenny was to please.  They give Kenny a call asked if he would run by a gas station, pick up a case of beer and come drop it by their house.  He didn't even put up a fight.  Within a half hour there's a knock at the door... they open it and find Kenny standing there and apparently Kenny decided to go the extra mile.  This guy's standing outside the door with not only a case of beer but he's got a sausage and cheese platter in the other hand.  Vance said it looked like he had sliced up the sausage with his car keys and the cheese was all "melty looking."   Kenny invites himself in the house in an effort to "hang with the boys" aka give them all HJ's but after about 5 minutes of awkwardness he is politely eased back out the door.  Bless his little heart... he was just looking to have a "White Christmas."

Taxicab Confessions, Act 2

Before we begin, if you have not yet read my article titled "Taxicab Confessions" it would be wise of you to do so before continuing with this post.  To catch up either CLICK HERE or scroll down.

Just this past weekend I had to opportunity to fellowship a little with Mr. D-Money, our hero from the first Taxicab story, and gained some much needed perspective on this whole disastrous situation.  I just want to say thank you to D-Money for being so candid with me in the wake of such a dark moment in his life.  I learned two things that day from speaking with D... first, they got picked up that night from their friends house not a bar which helped explain why D-Money was wearing sweatpants.  The second thing I learned was that the story did not end when the cab driver dropped them off... nope, apparently the cock touching cabbie was not ready to end the night with a rejection from D-Money.

The story continues...

So D-Money and Janet are dropped off back at their house and while walking inside D-Money can't help but feel like he was just involved in a rape scene of some B movie.  He walks into the house still trying to put the pieces back together and heads directly to the fridge to grab a beer in hopes of regaining his composure.  He leans up with his beer and without moving a muscle he has an overwhelming sense that someone is watching him.  Someone indeed was watching him...

Panic sets in. He begins to sweat. His bootyhole puckers up in self defense.  He slowly closes the refrigerator door, turns his head and sees what no man should have to see in his lifetime... standing just a few feet behind D-Money was the infamous cab driver.  That's right, the cab driver who just minutes ago attempted the "over the pants HJ" has now actually followed his victim into his house and is set up in a "cocked & loaded" position on D-Money's six.  I'm sure the cabbie said something like, "Hey Sug, was you just gonna 'stiff me on the tip'?"  D-Money is frozen where he stands from some sort of primal fear paralysis but he said he mustered up enough strength to call out, "Janet! You better get this motherf*cker out of here!" His girl comes running into the kitchen to break up this little 'cock fight' and escorts the cab driver outside. He apologizes and gets in his cab. End of story.  It appears as though our friend D-Money once again dodged a bullet.  Cheers!

Follow up on Yahoo Post

Here is a quick follow up on how things have progressed with Mr. Anthony Karl at Yahoo... i recommend reading below if you have not yet read the first post on this subject or click here to be directed...

From Anthony to Me:

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Pulse.

Your email regarding the Yahoo! Terms of Service (TOS) and the Yahoo! Community Guidelines raises legal issues that are not addressed byCustomer Care. This type of issue may be better resolved by reviewingour help pages for additional information or by consulting your legal advisor for an interpretation of our TOS and Community Guidelines as itrelates to your specific situation.

Please be aware that messages that harass, abuse, or threaten othermembers; have obscene or otherwise objectionable content; have spam, commercial, or advertising content or links may be removed and may result in the loss of your Yahoo! ID (including email).
Regards,

Anthony Karl

Yahoo! Customer Care

From Me to Anthony:

 Oh now this is getting rich Anthony Karl with a K.... how dare you threaten to take away my Yahoo ID after already taking away my Yahoo ID for reasons you've still yet to mention.  

How... Dare... You?!  

I will most definitely be consulting my attorney on this matter and I will see you in court Tony.  Make sure you wear something cute with easy access because I plan on eye f****ing the sh*t out of you when we finally meat each other (notice I spelled meet with an 'a' as in my 'meat' stick is going to be stuck so far up your ass they're gonna need the jaws of life to pry me off your sweet little fart maker.

Your a good man Tony... I love you.

Yahoo

I just wanted to share with you all a little slice of my life over the past week.  Just last Monday I got to work and tried to login to my Yahoo account.  Now, I don't use this account for email but strictly for Fantasy Sports.  In fact, over the past 5 years Fantasy Sports is the ONLY reason I even go to Yahoo.com.  So, as I try to login that morning I'm repeatedly hit with an error message that says I either have an invalid user name or password.  I know what your thinking... "are you sure you don't have CAPS LOCK ON?"  The answer is no... I did not have caps lock on and I didn't forget my password.  In fact it was the same password I've had for 5 years.

After about 50 or so failed login attempts I click the "Forgot Password?" link thinking they are going to email me a password reset prompt to my other email or let me answer some security questions to reset my password.  Well neither happened.  When I went through that process I would get another error message saying, "Oops, we're sorry but this account cannot be verified online.  Please contact customer care for assistance."  Now I'm starting to sweat.  I don't want to sound like a nerd here but I'm in the middle of a playoff race in my Fantasy Baseball league and I cannot afford to be locked out of my account for any period of time.  It's a 24 hour a day commitment.  Long story short, I fill out the customer care complaint form (about 15 times) and had it emailed to them. At this point they tell me I will be contacted within 24-48 hours.  Well it's been 7 days and I finally get a response and I have posted the exchange below, including one of my "angrier" complaint emails:

To Yahoo:
I swear to God I don't understand why this is such a f***ing process to have my f***ing password reset. GROW THE F**K UP YAHOO!! I can get this done in 2 minutes with Gmail, Hotmail, Facebook, or even snail mail. I can't comprehend why I have to email you lazy bastards to do this.  What is wrong with answering security questions? My phone number is ###-###-####, give me a call and at least pretend you actually have a customer service department and personally tell me why this is such a f***ing process! I have had this account for 5 years with the same password.  My password is ***** if that helps expedite this retarded process.

From Denise Fox at Yahoo:

Dear ****,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Customer Care.

Your Yahoo! Customer Care account was disabled pursuant to the Yahoo! Terms of Service (TOS). You agreed to abide by the TOS when you created your account with Yahoo!. The TOS can be found at:
  http://info.yahoo.com/legal/us/yahoo/utos/utos-173.html
You agree that Yahoo!, in its sole discretion, may terminate your password, account (or any part thereof) or use of the Service, and remove and discard any content within the Service, for any reason, including, without limitation, for lack of use or if Yahoo! believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of the TOS.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Pulse.

Regards,

Denise Fox

Yahoo! Customer Care

From Me to Denise:

Really?? I would LOVE to know how I abused my account, please elaborate.  It certainly wasn't due to my lack of use so it must be that I "acted inconsistently  with the letter or spirit of the TOS."  This should be good considering I only use this account for Fantasy Sports, not email. Please respond with your answer.  

Also, thanks for getting back to me so quickly.  Although you fell short of your stated time frame of 24 hours by about 7 days, I get the sense that you are acting swiftly on this matter. 

P.S. I am highly pissed off right now

From Anthony Karl at Yahoo:

(He actually just sends me the exact same email I got the first time from Denise Fox)

From Me to Anthony:

Dear Anthony Karl with a K, 

Thanks for clearing all of this up.  I read your TOS and it seems I was in violation of 1 or more of the 50 reasons my service can be terminated without my consent.  In no way shape or form was that a vague answer to my question on why my account was terminated by the folks inside your "Think Tank."

Now that I don't know what terms I violated I will be sure open a new account with Yahoo and pray that I don't go right back to my old ways and start doing whatever it is I wasn't supposed to be doing. I feel bad Anthony, should I apologize for what I did or didn't do?

Clear as mud Anthony Karl with a K, keep up the fine work over there. 

P.S.  Go F**k yourself Tony!

Coming Soon

Just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what is coming down the Beasthammer pipeline over the next few days (no, that was not an anal sex or bathroom pun).

I had the opportunity to catch up with D-Money from the recent taxi cab story and he provided me with "the rest of the story" from that dreadful evening and trust me... you're gonna want to hear this.  Also, there is another of our friends, let's just call him Vance, who had an encounter with this cab driver and that is also going to make for a very entertaining post.  Stay tuned!

And finally, today I received this in my inbox this morning and I have already forwarded it Mr. Danny Copeland who will hopefully scambait the $hit out them...

Critics Rave

It seems as though I was fortunate enough to get some favorable reviews from the critics out there.  Don't take their word for though, CLICK HERE to find out for yourself.

It has Arrived!

Today was a good day... that little lamb of a guy from FedEx brought me a little something extra special... you can't tell me this shouldn't be a staple on the back of every man's toilet.

A perfect Father's Day, Mother's Day, Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's Day, Christmas & Easter Gift for the whole family

Featuring the Famous "Scambaiter Series"

Picture Quality is Superb

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW

Taxicab Confessions

Some of the stories I've put on this blog are from stories some of my friends will bring up during casual conversation.  They don't necessarily mean for it to be the focal point of the story they are telling me at the time but I immediately pick up a detail here and there and have to reverse engineer the actual story I want to hear.  This next post is no exception and the things that happen in my friends lives never ceases to amaze me.

Due to the content of this post I promised that I would leave names out to protect the innocent... all names used going forward will be aliases.  So, I'm riding around with Burt the other day and we are on our way to the bar when we pass a gas station on our right.  I'm not really paying attention but Burt looks out the window and says, "Hey, that's that creepy cab driver that tried to molest D-Money over there gassing up." And then without skipping a beat he asks, "So what bar are we headed to?"  I almost wrecked into a tree as my feeble brain tried to digest the information it was just fed.  "Whoa whoa whoa," I said.  "What the hell did you just say?" Burt then repeats himself and proceeds to tell me a dynamite story that I immediately knew had to be shared with you guys...

Apparently a couple of weeks ago D-Money and his girlfriend Janet were on their way home from the bar after drinking copious amounts of hard liquor and decided to jump into a cab.  Smart move? We shall see...  They both get in the back and order the driver to deliver them to their house but once they get around the block Janet suddenly remembers that she left her phone at the bar and gets the cab to turn around and head back.  Once they are back in front of the bar Janet jumps out to run inside leaving a highly inebriated D-Money in backseat of the cab.  At this point the cab driver and D-Money are engaged in small talk (which I will get to later) while waiting on Janet to get back.  All of the sudden, the driver turns in his seat creating the perfect angle for him to reach back and rub D-Money's cock piece. I'll give you a second to let that sink in...

That's right.  The cab driver actually turned around, reached back and began fondling D-Money's junk box. Now that's a ballsy move. This obviously doesn't last very long before D-Money squirms and smacks the cabbie's hand telling him, "NO! I don't roll like that dude!"  The driver obeys his customer's wishes and turns back around and acts like nothing happened.  Seconds later Janet gets back in the cab and at this point the awkward silence is palpable.  She looks at D-Money and asks, "What's wrong?"  "Nothing," he replies with a look of shame and shattered dreams that can only be duplicated by a single mother rape victim on a cheesy Lifetime Channel movie Then, the cab driver takes them home.  They pay and that is that.  End of story.   After Burt told me all of this I asked why didn't D-Money scream rape or punch the guy or try to run?  Burt said he asked him the same question and his response was, "I don't know man, I was drunk as shit and he really didn't touch it all that long anyway."

Wow.  Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this very important part of the puzzle... D-Money said he was wearing sweat pants that night which really puts into context just how personal this encounter was.

As promised, this is just my interpretation of the small talk and awkward moments leading up to "The Incident."

Cabbie:  Hey man, nice night huh?
D-Money:  Uh, yeah dude, I guess. Hey, can I smoke in here?
Cabbie:  No smoking buddy, sorry.  But... I can touch your cock for you if you want.
D-Money:  Oh ok - WAIT, what did you just say?
Cabbie:  I said, I will touch your cock if you want me to.
D-Money:  Uh no dude, please don't touch my cock.
Cabbie:  Are you sure?
D-Money:  Yeah man, I'm sure.  Don't touch my cock.

 Cabbie:  No? Well I'm gonna touch it anyway. 

Don't Drink & Skeet

There's not really much of a story here but at the time I was looking for an excuse to draw a picture and pass some time.

This weekend my friend and his family are throwing their annual "Summer Shoals" party.  I've yet to attend one of these events but from my understanding it consists of a large hunting lodge on a lake where a undisclosed number of young adults still in their prime frolic around, make out with each other and drink themselves into blackouts. Unfortunately though, there is one activity at Summer Shoals that has been taken off the itinerary.  It was quite a shock to learn via email from my friend that this year there would be no skeet shooting like there had been in the past.  I agree that there are a few things in this world that don't mix well with alcohol, painkillers and weed but as far as I'm concerned, a 12 gauge shotgun  is not one of those things.

Monday Morning Bidet

I realize that this topic is not as tasteful as some of you may be hoping for but I felt it needed to be shared never the less.  Please allow me to take you on a magical journey through with a timeline of consumption for an average "slightly un-classy" male for a typical weekend.

Let us begin with Thursday...  regardless of whether you work on Fridays your weekend will at least mentally begin shortly after 5 pm on Thursday.  You leave work and in one way or another you celebrate the fact that you've managed to once again fool other grown ups into thinking you actually give a damn about your job for 4 days in a row... and why shouldn't you?  It's no easy task.  So you extend happy hour a few hours on Thursday not worrying about if you're going to be hung over at work tomorrow or not because it's Friday... and nobody really does shit on Friday's anyway so there's no reason why you can't spend the final 8 hours of your week doing your usual Facebook Creepin' routine with a hangover.  Now it's time for lunch and time for you to really start punishing your body.  What's that? Mexican for lunch with the boys?  Why the hell not, it's Friday isn't it?  You ate salad and tuna sandwiches all week trying to trick your body into thinking you aren't a disgusting bastard... you've earned this lunch.

4:45 pm rolls around and you find a way to sneak out early, stop by the gas station, pick up a case of Busch Light and a bag of TGI Friday's Bacon 'n Cheddar Potato Skins.  You head home and immediately start swallowing these products at an alarming rate until it's time to take a shower and head out to meet your Friday night associates who have no doubt been doing the exact same thing.  You get to dive bar and don't want to ruin your buzz with one of their big greasy hamburger platters so you wisely opt for a dozen wings with extra ranch and a side of fried pickles. You're no amateur...  Now you continue to slurp down dollar drafts mixed with shots of yager at 10 minute intervals.  You then go home, pass out, wake up the next morning and head down to the local Mac's Breakfast Anytime joint with whoever happens to have slept on your couch and recliners.  Here you decide to order the "Farmer's Breakfast" or sampler plate if you will and before the waitress walks off to put in your order you say, "Oh yeah, can I also get a side of corn beef hash with that?"  Of course you can good sir!

The rest of your Saturday consumption goes exactly like Friday with the exception that you don't have to wait unit 5 o'clock to start drinking now.  Before you know it you are right in the middle of your Sunday with a horrible hangover that can only be cured by Gatorade and comfort food (ie. left over pizza and Moose Tracks ice cream).  When Monday morning rolls around you feel a little groggy so you unfortunately decide to have that second giant cup of coffee and I think we all know what happens next...  you briskly waddle down the hall to the employee bathroom giving handshakes and smiling nods to everyone you pass and they have no idea what is happening to your body from the belly button down.  You make it into the bathroom, lock the door, say a quick prayer and turn the water on even though you know there is not a chance in hell a steady stream of water is going to mask this nuclear flashback of your entire weekend that you are about to give birth to anally.  This is a vicious cycle of life.

I think this picture explains what I feel is my only option for cleanliness after one of these Monday morning bathroom visits.

If You're Not 5 Minutes Early, You're Late

It's emails like this that keep me coming back to work every morning...

Where has the Beasthammer Gone?

Let me first apologize for my total lack of attention to this site over that last few months.  It has been way too long since we shared a laugh at the expense of either myself or my half retarded friends.  Ironically, as the title of this website implies I started this as a way to pass time while at work.  Meaning, I would only work on my postings and drawings while at my desk here at the office... I had a strict rule not to bring this home with me.  Not because I don't care but I'm usually so drunk within a couple hours of getting off work that it made generating Microsoft Paint pictures virtually impossible.  That is why I needed the controlled/sober environment of my office to be able to work on my craft.  Unfortunately over the past few months I have been passing my time at work with actual tasks relating to my job.  I know, it seems a bit silly but hopefully things are starting to get back to normal around here just in time for the summer.   

During this brief sabbatical of mine I have had mixed feelings about what to do next with my site. Not wanting to shut it down I believe my next best option right now is to add a co-pilot.  My friend Russell the Love Muscle has show me time and time again that he has the appropriate skills in the Microsoft Paint department as well as the bull$hitting department.  Both of which are strong requirements for this position.  If you would like to apply to become an additional contributor please feel free to send in your resumes and head shots (professional only, please do not send ghetto self shots of you in the mirror or sitting in the driver seat of your car).

To get things rolling I am adding this picture most recently created by Mr. Love Muscle on a somewhat topical subject.  I would also like to add that my first book, The Chronicles of Beasthammer Episode I, is in it's finishing stages and hopefully will be available to the public very shortly.

Craigs List Scammer

I've had a car for sale on Craigs List for a little while now and every so often I get an inquiry that is bogus and an obvious scam.  Usually it is some person with an Arab sounding name and very bad grammar. I don't even waste my time responding but a couple days ago I got an inquiry from a Mr. Harry Flitchel, he's grammar was good enough so I at least responded.  It became quickly apparent however that he was full of $hit... our email exhange is below:

From Harry Flitchel to Me:

Is this vehicle still for sale?

From Me to Harry:

Yes this vehicle is still for sale. 

From Harry to Me:

Hello ******, 

Thanks for your response.I have a client who is very much interested in buying your vehicle. He happened to budget for a car last time and unfortunately it was sold. I have discussed with him and he has agreed that he will be willing to have the vehicle shipped to Canada upon reaching
an agreement with you.

Please I have Some Questions to Ask:
1) Is the engine in perfect condition?
2) How often do you service the Vehicle?
3) How many miles on the Vehicle now?
4) Are you the owner?
5) If yes, for how long did you use Vehicle?
6) Exterior and interior pics
7)Finally At what price are you willing to sell this
Vehicle to Us ...Bottom price.
8)Warranty
9) Vin # 

Regards,
Harry Flitchel

From Me to Harry:

Harry,
I don't mean to offend you but I need to make sure this is legit.  I get a lot of spam and strange requests for this car and the fact that its out of country is a red flag in my spammers handbook. Are u a dealer? Why are u acting on his behalf?

From Harry to Me:

Hello *****,

Regarding your questions,I work under MAPFRE FINANCE S.L Barcelona.
I'm not a dealer,i'm actually facilitating the purchase of the vehicle for a client.

Kindly,send me the condition of the vehicle for final evaluation.

Hope to hear from you soon for payment process.

Harry.

From Me to Harry:

Yeah, I checked it out.  Mapfre Finance S.L. is a pretty popular name used for Fraud and 419 Scams.  You should use a different name, think outside the box.

From Harry to Me:

*****,

 I will be glad if you address me with respect.I will have to inquire for another vehicle for my client.

Thank you.

Harry.

From Me to Harry:

Blow me Harry.  Good luck ripping someone off, somebody will eventually fall for it.

 I just love how Harry demanded respect from me.  Well played sir. 

Toilet Bowl Diaries

I got this email from my friend Tyler a few hours ago... it is a good read.