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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Lil' Wayne Quote of the Day

You catch my gal legs open betta smash that.
Don't be surprised if she ask where the cash at.
I see she wearing them jeans that show her butt crack.
My girls can't wear that. Why? That's where my stash at.
I put my mack down, that's where you lack at.
She needs her candle lit and I'ma wax that.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Self Promotion?

My friend Bill sent this email out this morning...
According to the CNN reporter, Four Loko is sweeping the nations college campuses.  I think when the reporter does a little digging, he or she will find that the only reason this drink has grown in popularity is because of the Beasthammer Blog.
This prompted me to contact the author of this story (Alan Duke) at CNN and let him know that I am personally responsible for the Four Loko movement taking the east coast by storm, not only because I am deeply concerned by this but because I needed to do some self promoting.  This was easier said then done because I couldn't find an email address for Alan Duke anywhere on the web but I finally found his Facebook page and sent him a message including all of my links about Four Loko.  I expect a response from him shortly...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Tribute to Four Loko

As much as it pains me to say it, I must admit that I'm getting the sense that readily available Four Loko may be moving towards extinction.  It seems like everyday there is a new headline in the news slandering Four Loko's good name.  Calling it "black out in a can," "meth in a can" and "Panamanian Punta Juice" are just some of the ridiculous names they use to put down this heavenly elixir.  

So what if weak ass college kids can't handle their booze.  How the hell is that my problem?  Those privileged kids with their skinny jeans and Justin Bieber  hair cuts either need to learn how to drink like adults or stop calling 911 when their pansy ass friends black out.  Four Loko is to be used as a supplement... of course you shouldn't drink 6 of them, that's not what they are for.  They are supposed to "supplement" your normal alcohol consumption not replace it.  Try using Four Loko as your go to pregame drink.  Then return to your beer and wine coolers for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th quarters. Perhaps use it as a quick pick-me-up during your lunch break. Most importantly though... DON"T BE A FAG.  Drink Four Loko responsibly and try not to ruin it for the rest of us.

Here are a few of the headlines as well as a montage of previous Four Loko post.

Friday, October 8, 2010

No Child Left Behind

My friend Elliot works for a company that goes around selling class rings and "what-nots" to schools.  With his love of "young women" this career path puts him in a compromising position... but, that's beside the point.
Yesterday he was in a school in South Carolina, just laying his mack down in the hallway,  when he stumbled across this snapshot of a wonderfully put together poster displaying the kind of forward thinking we can only pray our own children will have.  I mean really, all you can do is tip your hat to the "adults" in charge of molding young minds at this school.  Bravo! Is it just me or does the exclamation point look like a wiener?

                                                              Wrap it or Rap it?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Halloween Party

This past spring a group of us went to the a Habitat for Humanity Gala and after dinner there was a auction.  I thought I was ballin when I got a package for 3 rounds of golf but my friend Dave one-upped me when he got a catered party for 50 at an awesome house... like a wise man once said,  you can't out-pimp a pimp.

My friend Elliot sent out a Facebook Invitation to this party on Dave's behalf and then asked me if I could do a picture for the page.  Below is his description of the party from Facebook (which is pretty funny) and then my rendering of what such a party would end up looking like.
To celebrate the one year anniversary of Dave growing the creepiest mustache this side of Hitler, he decided to bid on a house at this year's Habitat for Humanity Auction so that all of his friends and family could share in remembering one of the more momentous battles in American History: Dave Swies vs. The Mach 3 (but not the battery powered one that's more useless than Iowa State football).

The house is phenomenal (heated pool, jacuzzi, pool house, on the lake, etc.) and the event is catered, so I'm going to need everyone to make sure Jason Lee puts on his big boy pants for this one. If he and Pope are near the pool they need to be wearing orange arm floaties at all times.

You can check out the house here:

The schedule for the day is as follows:

Noon - College Football kickoff party. Keg beer will be provided with grilling being done by Dave's Dad, Mr. Mus Tache.

6 PM - Costume Party and catering service begin. Wine and Beer are included, liquor and Four Loko are not. However, it is strongly encouraged that you bring both.

10-11 PM - Shuttle service will be provided to downtown Southern Pines for everyone to continue in their pursuits of unlawful behavior.

For the fourth consecutive year Happy Ending gift bags will be provided by Ms. Angelina Leo. Lots of treat with very little trick (read: cold sores).

This is a no lose proposition for everyone. It's going to be a great time with friends, catering, shuttle service, and alcohol being provided by Dave, all for a good cause benefitting our local Habitat for Humanity.