Myth or Legend?

Brent sent me this picture yesterday while I was at work.  This is some kind of self portrait but I'm not sure how accurate it is.  In his defense though, I've never seen him wear anything but parachute pants.

You Won't Know if you Don't Ask

I sent this doodle to my wife a couple weeks ago...

She was not impressed nor did she comply.

Compliments to the Chef

I did this for an old fraternity brother and roommate of mine from college.  He is an executive chef for a hotel and also a champion drinker.  That guy could drink his way out of anything... he's kind of like MacGyver only instead of coming up with gadgets to get out of a life threatening situation he would just drink.

UHAUL

Brent sent me this picture at work after I told him the story about my Uhaul experience I had over the weekend.  We rented this truck on a Saturday morning to head up to Raleigh and pick up bedroom furniture. Everything was going according to plan until I got about 30 YARDS from my house and got the sumbitch stuck in the mud.  I decided to take the back way out of my driveway instead of backing up which led to one of the worst decisions I've ever made.  This thing was buried in the mud and wasn't moving an inch.
It was your typical scene... me with my hands on hips, looking at the ground and slowly shaking my head side to side as I try to talk myself out of a heart attack.

Long story short, we finally found a person to come pull us out but not after I had cursed the heavens, punched the side of the truck and seriously injured my fist.  FML.

Last Facebook Graffiti...

Okay this is the last graffiti I will post from my Facebook and then I will get back to Microsoft Paint and Notepads.  There really isn't a story for this, I just thought it was cool.

Blueberry Vodka

A few weeks ago our friend Nick thought it would be a good idea to take shots of Blueberry Vodka during the NCAA Championship football game.  Whether it's a good idea to take shots of this stuff is debatable but what is for certain is that it is never a good idea to drink the entire bottle... at a rapid pace.  Legend has it that the whole house smelled like blueberry muffins while he was vomiting.

Fantasy Sports

Another Facebook graffiti drawing I did for my friend J.R. who without a doubt a fantasy sports guru.  He spends a lot of time perfecting his craft.

Big Earl

 

One time Brent caught a huge bass he named Big Earl and had it mounted on his wall.  I'm not sure how big it is because I don't know a damn thing about the weight of fish nor should I.  Brent probably has his own heroic story of how he caught it but I'm pretty sure this is how it went down. 

Pitching a Tent

This is a picture I did on Facebook a while back for my friend Brent using the Graffiti application.  He works as an X-Ray technician and I can only assume this is the best part of his day. 

Karaoke Night

 

This past Saturday Brent and I were just relaxing and getting a little tipsy when we thought it would be a good idea to break out the Karaoke machine.  Brent, being new to the karaoke experience was afraid of the mic for the first 30 minutes so he just watched me perform my usual set (Snoop & Dr. Dre, George Straight, Alan Jackson and some Sting). 

Next thing we know my wife, her mom and one of her mom's friends showed up (to our surprise) and "caught us in the act" you might say.  Apparently, two very important things happen at this point... 1. Brent went from being calm and a lil' tipsy to being pants-shitting drunk in the blink of an eye... and 2. He decided to come out of his shell and put on a little concert of his own.  I think Brent's drawing explains the rest...

Boiling Point

A couple years ago my friend Matt sent a few of us a picture of his cubicle.  For some reason I got the feeling that he was not very happy with his place of employment and later that day I did a little touch-up in Microsoft Paint.

** As a side note, Matt did confirm that the "Green Gel-do" was in fact the suction cup variety.

Constructive Criticism?

My friend Brent apparently had some issues with my last picture and sent me his version to share some of his criticism.  He especially had something against the size of my branches...

That's what she said?

The Sock

Our friend Cherri is an avid runner.  She told us once that while she was in the middle of a 5 mile run she was suddenly struck with a violent case of the BG's (bubble guts) and was forced to "pull over" and handle her business in the nearby woods.  With no toilet paper in site she was faced with a grim decision... either finish out her run messy or sacrifice one of her socks for the cause.  She made the right choice except that she actually kept the sock, ran with it the rest of the way balled up in her hand and washed it when she got home.  Now that is a special sock.

Pretty Boy

Setup:  A couple weeks ago my friend's cousin flew in from out of town to visit for the weekend.  The story is that while they were out at a bar his cousin was getting macked on by a large muscular man.
The cousin, not being interested in the above mentioned meat-head, politely explained that she was engaged and unavailable (a total lie).
When the bar had closed my friend and his cousin were outside waiting on a cab when out walks meat-head.
The exchange went like this:

Meat-Head:  "Don't tell me this is the guy you were talking about?"
My Friend:  "Oh, nah man... she's just my sister."
Meat-Head:  "Your sister? Well I guess I know who got all the looks in the family." (as he points to my friend, not the cousin)

The meat-head may have gotten blown off in the bar but I think he got the final laugh on this one.  We now refer to our friend as "Pretty Boy."

Koozies

THE SETUP:
So as part of a gift for my best men at my wedding I ordered engraved koozies for each of them.  Sounded simple enough.  I received these koozies about a week later and swear to god I looked at them for about 5 minutes before I could even see the engraving. Barely visible.  Needless to say I sent them back and requested that they be remade. That's where the fun started between me and "Carrie" (customer support specialist).

When the second batch of koozies arrived I can't say I was surprised to find that they looked exactly the same as the first ones.  This is an abbreviated summary of my email exhange with Carrie:

Me:  Hey Carrie, these koozies look identical to the first ones... this just won't do. 
Carrie:   I'm sorry, that's just how our engraved koozies look. 
Me:  Okay, in that case I think I would like to send these back... again... and just get a refund. 
Carrie:  Please refer to our refund policy on our website.  (The don't refund engraved items)
Me:  Ohhhhh hell nah! Imma need my $$$$$$$ back Carrie! Please refer to my attached letter...

Angry Letter

The Creeper

Background:  In high school we had this guy that LOVED to sneak in on girls that were passed out at a party and put the moves on them.  Yeah...  I know... DISTURBING...  but also VERY true.  This is kinda how I pictured it going down.

Cow Chronicles Logo 4

The 4th and probably final installment of our logo series...

Apparently these logos didn't fit into their company's vision and in fact angered our cow wrangling friends.

Cow Chronicles Logo 3

Okay, so here is the 3rd logo attempt.  This was actually done by my friend Brent and I was glad to see that he didn't lose sight of original goal.

The best part about this picture is that it actually makes you feel like you walked in on something you shouldn't have.

Cow Chronicles Logo 2

While my 2nd logo is not actually a cow, I felt it was still appropriate for a cow farm logo.  Once again the CEO's of this company shot it down.

Cow Chronicles Logo 1

This was my first attempt.  Pretty standard logo that I figure you would find on most cow farms.  Needless to say they didn't go for it and I went back to the drawing board.

The Cow Farm Chronicles

The Cow Farm Chronicles is a product of having some well diversified friends.  I have these two friends who I will just refer to as P & B who have started their own cow farming business.  Keep in mind these two hold down regular jobs, neither of which would be classified in the Agribusiness Sector... I find that to be quite funny right off the bat.

It was recently brought to my attention by my friend Brent that these two cowboys were looking for a logo design for their new cow farm business.  The illustrations that follow this post will document my attempts to become a valued member of this business venture.

Andy part 2

This was a stick figure drawing from my friend Brent (Andy's Cousin) showcasing his rendering of the horrific act.

Stephen

There is a dark rumor going around that our friend Stephen may not be safe in his own house. A hairdryer is actually involved in one of the rumors.

Andy

Turns out our friend Andy likes to kiss the girls... they don't always want to kiss back. This is a reenactment of the assault that took place over the weekend.

Testing

Testing...