Search This Blog


View My Stats

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Gerber Follow Up

I received this reply from the Customer Service Department at Gerber.  John Boy please leave the information she is requesting so we can get this situation resolved.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My First Customer

A few days ago I posted a blog about writing angry business letters and requested that if anyone or any company has wronged you to let me know and I would send Danny Copeland on the case.  A received this request from John Boy:
"I've got one for you Mr. Hammer. I have an exceptionally nice pocket knife manufactured by Gerber. It has been very useful to me but after about 6 months of having it the clip came loose. It is pretty sorry engineering the way they designed it because it is only attached by 3 tiny screws that can only be tightened by an allen wrench of a size that cannot be found anywhere outside of the Gerber factory (about the size of a flea's ball hair). I sent my first one back to the company and they happily sent me a brand spankin' new one, in the box. Sweet deal because this is not a cheap blade. Well, about 5-6 months later the exact same thing happened again. Now, it was quite a hassle typing a letter and getting to the P.O. to send off the first one. Not to mention the cost of shipping and insuring the thing. I really don't want to go through the trouble again but I want a functionable knife. I wear it clipped on my back pocket so it has to have an adequate clip. Please have Danny reprimand them with the strong tongue that we all know he possesses. Below is an email address to send it to and link to said blade."
Here is the letter that Danny sent to the Gerber Company...Angry Letter To Gerber

Friday, December 10, 2010

A Real American Hero

My friend Randy, who I have previously referred to as the Godfather of the Southeastern wave of Four Loko consumption, has once again raised the 'effin bar and continues to set the tone.  Driven by panic and fear due to the recent threats of Four Loko being pulled from the shelves, Randy was able to do a couple favors for a local convenient store owner (meaning HJ's and Buttsex) and was compensated with a giant case of Four Loko.  The pictures below depict just how dedicated to the cause Randy has become.  We need more soldiers like you out there in the field fighting the good fight. 

I especially like the fifth of Smirnoff tucked back in the corner being dwarfed by the almighty Four Loko.  I'm sure he will need that to chase down each sip of the watermelon flavored elixir. 

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Angry Business Letters from Danny Copeland

Today I will begin accepting request from my readers to construct angry, yet tasteful, business letters directed at either a company or person that has wronged you in some sort of way.  I will have my alias Danny Copeland write the letters and your identity will be kept anonymous. Below is an example of a previous letter. If you would like to have Danny Copeland make someone feel like a complete jackass please leave a comment below outlining your request and appropriate contact info.

Example of Angry Business Letter

Friday, December 3, 2010

Kenny Powers Quote of the Day

Kenny introduces his class to their new P.E. Teacher...
Kenny Powers: And please, please, please don’t let the fact that Ms. Carol is a lesbian put you off to her. You know how you all think there are two kinds of lesbians? There’s the kind on Cinemax that get it on and are hot, and then there’s the mean kind? Well, Ms. Carol is neither of those.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Beiber Fever

I've mentioned the great Justin Beiber on here a couple of times but only as a comparison to how awesome something is.  This might be taking it a little far though? My God that is an exceptional head of hair... the way it waves around the side of his head all the way from the back is simply remarkable.