This story, which comes from my friend Randy, is an instant classic. I believe this all took place up in Raleigh while Randy was still in school at NCSU. What you're about to read is a true story.
On a random Saturday night one of Randy's friends from out of town came to Raleigh to go out partying with him and some guys. Well, this friend from out of town also brought with him a friend... a muscle shirt (probably a graphic tee) wearin' bad ass named Eddie Guy. So the guys go out to some bars and apparently the whole night Eddie is being the typical "I think I'm a bad ass" douche bag, you know the type... always one-upping everyone's story, taking lots of shots & bragging about being a ladies man. Towards the end of the night Eddie comes back from the bathroom with a pissed off look on his face and goes on and on about how some dude standing next to him in the bathroom was checking out his junk pile. He was so mad the guys had to calm him down because all he kept saying was, "I ain't gay! Ain't no dude gonna check out my man-meat... not unless he wants me to knock him out!"
This goes on a little while longer until the guys decide to leave the bar and continue their drinking back at Randy's house. They took separate cars and when they got back to the house Eddie Guy was nowhere to be found. His friend that he came in from out of town with told Randy that Eddie had left with a couple of guys to score some drugs. I think most of the guys found comfort in this because at least they got a break from Eddie for a while, in fact it turns out that he never came back that night at all. When they all woke up the next morning, they find Eddie sitting in the recliner looking like he'd been to hell and back. He tells everyone how he bought some drugs off those guys, met some hot chicks and stayed up the entire night partying. Rock on brother!
Now lets here the real story shall we? After Eddie has had time to recover for a couple hours him and his friend get on the road and head back home. A few hours later a girl Randy knows stops by to hang out and starts telling a story about how some weird guy went home with two of her guy friends last night. They eventually figure out that she is talking about Eddie Guy... When Randy starts telling Eddie's version of the story the girls just starts laughing. "He definitely wasn't partying with any girls last night," she said. "Those two guys he went home with are gay and they told me this morning that they basically stayed up all night doing drugs and double teaming your friend." Turns out Eddie Guy was willingly giving up his mouth and butt for drugs. I guess he wasn't quite they ladies man he made himself out to be. The best part of the story was how mad he got at the guy in the bathroom for sneaking a peek. Eddie Guy has never been seen again.