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Friday, May 14, 2010

Fashion Thought of the Day

I see this quite a bit and every time I do I'm completely blown away. Allow me to paint you a little picture of what I'm talking about with some words.

So you walking down the street, shuffling around the mall, touring your campus or just kickin it at a goat f*cking contest when out of nowhere you see something that frightens you and immediately has your brain working overtime to come up with an exit strategy. You have just encountered a large black man... either by himself or in a group, makes no difference. You're scared and rightfully so, it's not like you've never seen the movie Boyz in the Hood or Belly. He's got the braids pulled neatly back. He's got the neck-tat of some girl's name in cursive that he dated in high school. He's got the oversized White Tee on with the "Jesus Piece" hanging down. Below that he's got either some saggy gym shorts on or some even saggier jorts. Who knows, maybe even a gun or some brass knuckles hiding under there somewhere... not to mention he's probably packing the kind of man meat we've only seen on livestock and if you have your girl with you he's most likely already eye raped her. All this is then complimented with what? Timberlands? Air Force Ones? Ugz? Not even close, this guy is wearing old slip on sandals with WHITE SOCKS! Are you effin kidding me? Nerdy white kids in middle school couldn't even pull this off and you think it is okay?! I can't even wrap my head around the thought process you have to have to dress yourself, look in a full length mirror and walk out into public with other humans.


Anonymous said...

have u ever tried sandles with socks, Mr. Hammer? it's actually quite comfortable.

baggy shorts can lead to long balls however, so i dont recommend that.

~Your biggest fan, Russell the Love Muscle

Anonymous said...

G. Elliot Griffin said....
I know what you mean when I was at UNC I spent a lot of time in the guys basketball locker room and was quite impressed with the man meat that I came in contact with...
Posted by G. Elliot Griffin to How to Pass Time at Work at May 14, 2010 2:14 PM

Randy Tyner said...

Haters. I used to rock this look all the time down in Wilmington but instead of just eye raping girls I'd just go ahead and do it. I wore the white socks mainly just to hide the ruffies in. Who knows why Dwight Brauer did?

Remember that time Mr. Coble grabbed my livestock man meat coming out of the shower at UP? I was about to beat his ass before I started getting a funny feeling down there that I kinda liked. One tickle fight later I had him pinned down with the old Tyner Tickler.

randy tyner said...

how u gonna do me like that?

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