Search This Blog


View My Stats

Monday, November 29, 2010

Plan B

The other day I have to make a last minute trip up to the local pharmacy to pick up some "Plan B" emergency contraceptive for my wife.  I normally leave that kind of shopping up to the wife but lets face it... it was time for me to step up.  I definitely don't need any little snot machines crawling around my house slobbering all over my Playstation or knocking over my beer cans.  Plan B it is... I  make that uncomfortable walk to the pharmacy counter and rapidly but quietly eject the words "Plan B" out of mouth while awkwardly avoiding eye contact.  "No problem," he says and walks in the back.  By the time he returned I had already reached into my wallet and pulled out a crisp $20 bill and was soooo ready to complete this transaction.  He scans the box and says, "Thatta be $44.89 please."  It took a second for this to register, I was certain this wasn't going to cost over $13.  The rest of our transaction went something like this...
Beasthammer:  "Forty-Four dollars?! Hot damn son, that some expensive sh*t."
Pharmacist:  "Yep, this stuff isn't cheap."
Beasthammer:  "No kidding! What comes in the box, a new uterus?"
Pharmacist:  "[giggle] Maybe you ought to stick to 'Plan A' from now on."
Beasthammer:  "Ok?"
I paid and that was that but I am still not quite sure what he meant by Plan A... I mean, that could be any number of things.  Your comments are welcome.  


Anonymous said...

From what I hear, there are 2 Plan A options.

#1 goes like this.

Step 1: Stick it in the butt and be happy.

#2 is a little more indept.

Step 1: Get the girl really drunk

Step 2: Do whatever you feel like to her body

Step 3: Pull out and shoot into her hair.

Step 4: Punch her in the stomach to make sure any random fliers don't make kids.

crystal said...

Whoever anonymous is better hope i dont find out..because when i do hes gonna get punched in the face for suggesting these ideas to my husband!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Cream pies, back shots, throat yogurt, walrus tusks, tummy sticks, blumpkins, and snow balls are all plan A options!

BeastHammer said...

I'm deeply intrigued by the "Walrus Tusks" please explain further.

Anonymous said...

walrus tusks- u cum in a girls mouth pull out and then while holding her mouth shut u punch her in the stomach causing the cum to come out of her nose and run down her face resembling the tusks of a walrus... or so i hear, wink wink nudge nudge!!!

BeastHammer said...


Anonymous said...

Im officially declaring this website a threat to society and informing the internet police to shut it down!

Post a Comment