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Friday, December 10, 2010

A Real American Hero

My friend Randy, who I have previously referred to as the Godfather of the Southeastern wave of Four Loko consumption, has once again raised the 'effin bar and continues to set the tone.  Driven by panic and fear due to the recent threats of Four Loko being pulled from the shelves, Randy was able to do a couple favors for a local convenient store owner (meaning HJ's and Buttsex) and was compensated with a giant case of Four Loko.  The pictures below depict just how dedicated to the cause Randy has become.  We need more soldiers like you out there in the field fighting the good fight. 

I especially like the fifth of Smirnoff tucked back in the corner being dwarfed by the almighty Four Loko.  I'm sure he will need that to chase down each sip of the watermelon flavored elixir. 


Crystal said...

Randy, I cant wait for you to bring some of those Four Lokos to our house and get all wasted and then I'll drive you and the Beasthammer out to the Bell Tree and we can get schwasted. Then after you have picked out the hottest young lady of your choice we can all get a cab back to our house and watch a little porn. Beasthammer and I will then sneak up stairs for a little holiday loving while you and your fresh new meat get nasty on our couch! Im counting down the days... it gonna be GLOOOORIOUS!!!

Randy said...

wow crystal, i dont know how to react to that, ur not usually down for such scandalous activities but you kids always know im down. four lokos, bell tree, hot young ladies, a little porn, and some couch lovin' sounds awesome to me! idk what brought about your change of heart but its cool with me! so which night is best for you guys, the 22nd or the 23rd?

Crystal said...

Well Randy I hate to say it but I've been wrong about you these past few years, and I'm really sorry!!! I just always thought that you would try to steer Beasthammer in the wrong direction but after realizing that Beasthammer is way too strong of a man to be influnced by peer pressure and that you are not a bad guy you just like to have fun with your friends because you dont get too see them very often and you love them and miss them! I've also realized that although my Beasthammer might be much better looking than you and slightly smarter than you... well, that you guys arent much different, which means you are an amazing guy. Now that i see that you are such a great guy I'm gonna let you have your way with all my hot friends and we can get "LOKO" anytime you come to town! Our couch is always open to you and my hot friends! BTW both the 22nd and 23rd work for us!

Randy said...

WOW, Crystal it takes a lot of heart to admit that you were wrong about someone, i always knew you would come around! I cant wait to see you kids in a few days and get "LOKO"!!!

Beasthammer said...

Gaaaaahhhhh, i hope you kids are finished with your little love fest, GAG! Now that we have all that settled, Crystal i told you Randy was a good guy who just likes to have a good time with good friends and Randy I told you the wifie would come around she just needed some time to get to know you! Maybe if you wouldnt have missed out wedding she and her whole family and hot friends would have known how cool you were a loooong time ago JERK! JK you know i love you bro :) Just hurry up and get here and dont forget the Four Loko's!!

Danny "Dope-land" said...

FAGS!!! Oh i love you more, no i love you more, no you hang up, no you hang up first! Why dont you homos just get a room!! Ill be in the pines and you know i stay LOKO, ill bring some porn and those pink fury handcuffs for the skanks! Dont worry about a cab we can just ride in my patrol car, lights on and all! Ill see you homos and skanks in a few weeks! HOLLA!!!!

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